Stop shaming...

*TRIGGER WARNING* I'm going to touch on the subject of rape culture at some point in this post so just a little heads up incase anyone wants to stop reading.

So it's a bit of a serious one today. And it's not all about make-up, although make-up is a part of it. It's something that's been bothering me for a while and after seeing some more of these "hilarious" or "inspirational" memes, I've felt the need to have a wee rant.

My Facebook seems to be plagued with memes regarding women wearing too much make up, men don't like you if you're too fat, men only finding women attractive who are curvy, men don't women who sleep around etc..

So much about this pisses me right off.

I'm going to open this up, not just targeted at men, but the human race in general.

I have full autonomy. My body is my choice, and so is what the hell I want to do with it! If you want to sit and judge me because of how I look, dress or act, then you can turn your ass around and make your way out of my life.

I don't choose my clothing or make-up to please any man or woman. If a man, woman or anyone in  between happens to find me attractive then that's great but none of my choices are made with the sole intention of pleasing a sexual partner or a potential sexual partner.

My choice to wear make-up is for a few reasons, none of which I should justify to anyone but I'm going to go ahead and do it anyway. Make-up is a creative outlet for me, it's a point of self-expression and it gives me a bit more confidence. Not the confidence that comes with looking good for the benefit of other people but using my skills to make something that I feel proud of. Whether that means looking like I've been rubbing my face in a paint box or not, at least I'm happy with the finished product. I won't stop wearing make-up because people find "cake face" unattractive. I love make-up, I can't wear enough of the stuff. It's awesome.

My body is slightly on the chubby side. I'm not going to lose weight just so someone else will want to give me one, if I choose to lose weight, it'll be to look in the mirror and find myself more attractive and give me the confidence I need to walk out the door and feel like a queen.

Now, putting my feelings about myself aside, everyone in the world has beauty and not everyone can see that individual beauty. Whether they choose to wear make-up or not, my hope in the world that the people in question feel happy in their skin. Even if that means using a little bit of make-up here and there or plastering their face full of the stuff, what's important is that they feel happy. Would it be better if I look in the mirror and feel like crap but be grateful that someone might find me more attractive because I'm not covered in make-up? Fuck no it wouldn't. That's not how life is supposed to be. What's the point in living an unhappy life for someone else's benefit?

As for the weight thing, nowadays, I see more body shaming geared towards slimmer women rather than curvier women. In support of the typical 'poking fun at fat people' mindset. Well, let me tell you something, if you feel the need to empower yourself by bringing another woman down, then you're just as bad as the people out there taking the piss out of people like you. Body shaming is not cool in any way, shape or form. I've been attracted to women who are very slim, I have been attracted to women who are very curvy. There is no "perfect" body shape. If you're going to be concerned about anyone's weight, it shouldn't be about how they look, it should be about their health and even at that, it's not your business to raise the issue.

In an ideal world, I'd make myself a few dress sizes smaller and my boobs a few cup sizes smaller but that's my business, that's about how I feel when I look in the mirror. If someone only finds me attractive based on how my face and body looks, well, that's a shallow bastard that I really don't want in my life to begin with.

On to the "slutty" clothing and sleeping around section of my rant. I can wear whatever the hell I want without earning your judgement. If you don't think I look good, then tough titties. I do. If I want to have my cleavage busting out of my top or wearing a skirt which comes just below my arse cheeks because I'm embracing my curves then that's my business, not yours or anyone elses. My clothes are not for you! They are for me. My clothes are not a representation of my virtue, neither are they worn so that you will find me attractive. Whether I want to wear a boob tube or a turtle neck, I'll be wearing it because I feel comfortable and attractive in it. Rape culture & victim blaming has a tendency to become more obvious an issue when it comes to clothing. If a woman is provocatively dressed then they're "asking for it" or should expect some sort of sexual advance. Yeah, you might end up with someone chatting you up but wearing items of clothing doesn't take away your autonomy and your ability to give consent. If you're sitting saying that a woman deserves to be raped or that it's her own fault simply because she's wearing certain clothing, then you're as bad as the rapist involved in the situation. You are sympathising with a rapist. That is the fact of the matter. I AM NOT DRESSING FOR ANOTHER HUMAN BEING! No matter what their intentions.

The most frustrating one of all is the sleeping around part. Humans are sexual beings. They want to have sex for pleasure, they want to have sex to procreate. So why is it that men are allowed to sow their seed as they please but women are slut shamed if they enjoy sex and want to have it? I've never understood this frame of mind. If a woman wants to have sex with one man or a hundred men (or of any gender), she has the ultimate right to do so because it's her body and if she wants to go out and get the same pleasure that a man would without being judged for it, then she bloody well should do it. As long as both parties are being safe, why is there an issue here? Again, the rape culture issue comes up in that people have the opinion that if you sleep around a lot then you're fair game. Why can't you see what is wrong with that sentence? If you're one of those people who says these things, you might want to take a seat and have a real think about the sort of person you are and if you really think that you can condone assault of any sort based on a woman's (or man's) appearance or actions. CONSENT IS THE ISSUE HERE, NOT HOW A PERSON LOOKS/APPEARS!

And what the fuck happened to feminism? A lot of these memes are geared towards the male opinion but most of the time, it's women I see sharing them! Why are we bringing other women down? Aren't we all fighting for the same thing? To wear what we want, be equals, look how we want, act how we want? Yet we have women ripping other women to shreds simply to make themselves feel better. Well, I'm sorry but that's not how life works. We're all in this together, we're all beautiful and we should all accept that we have the rights to our own bodies and what we choose to adorn them with or what we choose to do with them.


All human beings are beautiful. Yes, it might be that not everyone finds a certain person attractive, we all have our own tastes, but as long as they see the beauty in themselves than that's what's important here. Attraction is subjective. We like what we like and that's fair enough. But what isn't fair is using our preferences to make other people feel like shit.

I have no idea what the purpose is behind this rant except maybe to get it off my chest and let people sharing these memes see another perspective.

Stop shaming other people guys. Whether it's body shaming, slut shaming or whatever, I don't care, just stop!

Peace and love to everyone. Go look in the mirror and see the beauty in yourself. Embrace that beauty. Do not let anyone else tell you that you have to look different for anyone else's benefit.

x M x